To Write, Yes. But to Become “A Writer?” No.
The main problem I struggle with is related to what I see as the point of this and other posts about writing. It is clear that I want to write, but do I want to become “a writer?”
I am a former 30-year federal employee. I am retired, with a federal pension and Social Security. In retirement, I do not want to do what I did for those 30 years and for 15 years before that, namely, be a professional pilot. So what do I want to do? I have loved to read since I was in early elementary school — my favorite photo is one my Dad took of me when I was probably 7 or 8, laying on my chest on my bed, in my room, reading a book — and “English” was the topic at which I excelled through school and college.
‘What is the problem?’, you ask. You like to write; become a writer in retirement. In my mind, the answer is easy and clear.
There is a difference between what I do and what I am.
One is an act, one is a state of mind.
There is a difference.
I have an internal force that wants to push words out onto paper, including this digital kind, but all the guidance and helpful posts on Medium and elsewhere seem to be directed to readers who want to make a living as writers. They seem to assume that anyone wanting to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard wants to be A Writer. I do not. That is too much like “work” and I promised I would not work after retirement.
Is there any hope for those of us who want to write but not be writers?
I do not want to make another career out of writing. I do not care to publish The Great American Novel or a short story or get paid money for publishing my words. I do not want to go back to college to take writing courses. I do not want an MFA.
But I want to write.
I want to involve myself in the valuable task of writing without adopting the mindset and culture of a writer. I do not mean just ‘put words on paper,’ To me, that is as wasteful and pointless as buying lettuce. Putting my words on paper needs to have a purpose of some kind and be of high enough quality to keep me enthused about doing it through the many drafts I will create. (This, for example, has been redone and thrown away and restarted and moved around many times since I started.)
To me, writing is more than merely putting meaningless words on what we now call “paper,” but I do not know how to soothe the savage beast within. I want to. Oh, how I want to. My struggle is learning how.
How do I start? This is something I must struggle with myself, making my own rules, finding my own way while I plod my own path, without regard to those who do it for the money. I am sure there are other people who want to write but not become writers, maybe even some who read these words. I cannot be the only one. Or maybe I am the only one who sees a difference.
Hopefully, clarity will come and I will come to some kind of resolution of my issue. Time will tell.
